Documenting the Coming Singularity

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Why I Don't Like Britney

By 12:59 PM
I harbor, within my cerebral cortex, an intense dislike for the trendy. If everybody's doing it, saying it, reading it, or otherwise incorporating it into their lives, I will naturally try to avoid it. This does not make me a more worthwhile human being than most, just a better one. If you come to me recommending a book that "everyone's reading," I will nod my head and make encouraging sounds while mentally vomiting. The book may be fantastic, and I may be sadly diminished because of my obstinacy, but I will resist reading it just because I dislike the trendy.

Therefore, Britney is considered persona not grata in my book, though I am not above using her name in this blog in order to improve my SEO (that's search engine optimization for you non-bloggers, God bless you every one). I'm clearly not above using her likeness either. However, this post is not only about Britney, the number one search term on the internet (could someone please explain that to me, without referring to the apocalypse?). Here are some other trendy things I dislike:
  • The GTD system. No thanks. If I was the most disorganized person in the galaxy, I would not try it. If you've never heard of it, consider yourself extremely fortunate.
  • The word "deal" used on its own as a verb, e.g. "He just won't deal!" (Nothing to do with a deck of cards, either.)
  • Promise Keepers.
  • The Purpose Driven anything!
  • The word "empower." What drivel.
  • The phrase "It's all good." No, it's not.
  • The phrase "You go girl!" (This was OK to use once in all of recorded history. Stop saying it.)
  • The word "bling." You say it, you're an idiot.
  • All TV shows with people renovating stuff. The people may know about renovation, but they are completely ignorant about humor, laughing at their own sophomoric dim-witticisms. Stop laughing at your own jokes, you moron!
Do you have some dislikes of your own? Care to comment?